913-406-3824 [email protected]

The Reason We Miss Great Opportunities:

The guy was super nice. Sharp dressed. Successful by most standards. Someone that I thought I could learn from. And, he had a coffee stain about the size of a dime on his white shirt. I wanted to look him in the eye as he spoke to me. What do you think had my attention? Yes. The one distraction that didn’t matter.

Happens to us all the time, doesn’t it?

You meet someone that impresses you. A person who is kind, smart, good-natured, respectful, fun loving, sincere, honest, and confident. They give you their full attention when you talk to them. You genuinely like to be in their company.

This person could be a co-worker, a new business acquaintance, or a leader in your organization. If you happen to be single, this person could be the individual that you just met and hope to date. Whoever they may be, there is a positive attraction that draws your attention.  

It is easy to see the best in them until you notice weakness or a negative quality. That’s when things change in your admiration or attraction to them. All of those positive qualities still exist, but the one thing that bothers you becomes the sole focus of your thoughts and begins to influence the way you think about them; which in turn starts to shape how you interact with them. Soon, a positive relationship is strained or held at arm’s length because you can’t see the good anymore.

Your focus matters when it comes to having a quality relationship with others. Your wisdom also matters. Ask yourself if the negatives are really a deal breaker or if they are merely a small “coffee stain” distraction. Don’t let the little things deprive you of all the good qualities you saw in the first place.

~  Steven Iwersen  |  Keynote Speaker, Author of “The Porcupine Principles!”, Relational Leadership Expert


Book Steven for your upcoming event or a special training session for your team – email [email protected] or call 913-406-3824.

Steven is the author of The Porcupine Principles. 

The Porcupine Principles! is a must read for anybody that works around, or with, “challenging” people. Steven’s casual approach to a difficult topic is a fresh, and appreciated approach. As a Certified Association Executive, I’d highly recommend this book to every association and society chief staff executive. It will be helpful in dealing with both staff and volunteer leaders.”  –   Ed Rigsbee, CAE, author “The ROI of Membership”